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I recently met the mother of an acquaintance of mine in the park. They married in the art gallery where they had met, a month after his surgery. All our events are run by volunteers who are also members.
I was wrong. I know what kind of a person brings out the best in me.
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It mostly happens online, with occasional meet-ups arranged if people happen to be in the same area. In this group, I can make the funniest comment. The danger with comparing and contrasting is that anyone new will be measured according to an unachievable ideal.
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